100 Buckets of Bits
100 Buckets of Bits 100 Buckets of Bits 100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FE buckets of bits [...]
Microsoft versus GM
Microsoft versus GM Microsoft vs. GM At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.” Recently General Motors addressed this comment [...]
Engineering Book
WhenEver We Keep The Money Our Son Steals It. I Don’t Know What To Do About It Hus: Keep It In His ENGINEERING Books. He’ll Never Touch!
Shaadi
Shaadi Kerna Aur Kara na Ek Islami Fareza Hai Main (Shadiaan) kRtA HOn, Tum (Meri Shadiaan) Krwatay jAo. Aao MiL K iS IsLaMI FaREzay kO PoRa kRAin
Safai
Malkin: Tum Safai Theek Se nhii Kertii Wo kOnAy mE Lga hUa jaAla dEkH Rahi hO? Iska zImaYDAar koN Hai? NokrAni: YaqeenAn kOi mAkri hOgi .
Employee
1 EmPLoYeE 2 oTheR: Ap k fAthEr kYa kRtAY ThAy? 2nd: G Wo Jootay Bnatay ThAy. 1st:UnhoOn nE TumhAin Mochi Kyun Na BnAya? DöOsRa bUhAT shIrmIndA Hua After A wHiLE2nd asKd 4m 1st:aP K fAThr KYA krtAY ThAY? 1st:Wo Ek ShareEf iNsaAN ThAY. 2nd:uNhoOn nE ApKO ShArif kYun nA BnAya?
Ek Ladki
Ek Ladki Khadi Thi, Na Toh SMS Kr Rahi Thi Na Call Kr Rahi Thi,Fir Bi Uska Balance Jaraha Tha.. Kaise? Ek Pair Par Khadi Thi Na!
The pet parrot
The pet parrot A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn’t be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately [...]
Frog calls a psychic
Frog calls a psychic A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his [...]
Doberman
Doberman A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, ‘Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?’ A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on [...]
Race records
They’re boasting about race records Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve [...]
Purchasing a new bird
Purchasing a new bird After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored [...]
Stupid Question and answer
Stupid Question and answer Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the armadillo that it was possible. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from Colonel Sanders! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice? A: Because it was a double-crosser. Q: Why did the [...]
Physics Laws
Physics Laws Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason [...]
The Feline Diet
The Feline Diet Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people — such as getting lots of table [...]
Dogs and Light Bulbs
Dogs and Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid [...]
Dog Property Rules
Dog Property Rules 1. If I like it, it’s mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it’s mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. 5. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it [...]
Horses at the Race
Horses at the Race A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, ”All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s [...]
Installing a Carpet
Installing a Carpet A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. [...]