TERi lita k lu?
TERi lita k lu? Ya bitha k lu? Andhere main lu ya bulb jala k lu? ya tujhe karun khara ? ya teri jhuka k lu? Ab tu hi bata k main teri PHoto kaise lon?
Marriage is like going to
Marriage is like going to a restaurant your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbourin table n wish you”d ordered that…..
First marriage
First marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience
Darling Tumhe Pata Hai
Wife: Darling Tumhe Pata Hai Jannat Mein Husband Aur Wife Ko Ek Saath Nahi Rehne Dete Husband: Isi Liye To Usey Jannat Kehte Hain
Shaadian unn kee
Shaadian un ki h0 gain jinko na tha aqal -o-shahoor… Apna to ye saal bi guzra zikr-e-nikah krte krte.. (Dedicatd 2 all bach0larzz )
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house… still he was in jail…….why? coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
While driving
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going [...]
Give me your e-mail
A jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Some Company. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. “You are employed.” He said.” Give me your e-mail address and I’ll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.” The man [...]
Unique job interviews
Unique job interviews Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the [...]
Want a day off work?
Want a day off work? So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend [...]
Evaluation comments
Evaluation comments Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: [...]
Identifying wasted time
Identifying wasted time TO: ALL PERSONNEL FROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a [...]
Play the Office Game
Play the Office Game Here’s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When [...]
Mistakes on a resume
Mistakes on a resume These are from actual resumes: “Personal: I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs. “I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.” “Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. [...]
FINAL REQUESTS
FINAL REQUESTS A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales. “Why Bloomingdales?” asked the rabbi. “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice [...]
A man and his wife
A man and his wife Florence Flask was … dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, “Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen my joules!” “Now, now, my dear,” replied her husband, “keep your balance and reflux a moment. Perhaps they’re mislead.” “No, I know they’re stolen,” cried Florence. “I remember [...]
You can now eat your own plate
You can now eat your own plate Taipei, Taiwan (AP) – Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further – eat the plate. Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to [...]
The family of tomatoes
The family of tomatoes A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”
Constantly complaining about the…
Constantly complaining about the temperature A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, [...]
You should learn to be more polite
You should learn to be more polite One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?” Bill: “If you had the [...]
Improving fry cooking time
Improving fry cooking time In January 1994, ‘The Economist’ magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O’Leary’s success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratory’s helping McDonald’s to find a way to speed up french frying. A team headed by physicist Tuncer Kuzay, who [...]
A practical joke involving jello
A practical joke involving jello Here’s a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party: A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks of people who [...]
Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
Top ten ways to annoy your waiter 10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip. 9. Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?” 8. After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!” 7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage”. 6. Every few seconds, yell, “More waffles, [...]